There is something very wrong with Axel (Shane Quigley-Murphy). He’s come home from god knows where, and he isn’t feeling very well. His girlfriend, Dakota (Paige Gilmour), isn’t home alone, either. Her best friend—who he apparently does not approve of—is at the house and she’s—gasp—smoking weed! But that’s really the least of his concerns right now since he’s too busy throwing up yellow goo into the toilet. Eventually, he overhears Dakota promising her friend that yes, she will break up with Axel soon. She just needs to find the right time. And apparently this knowledge is enough to send his body into a total mutant tailspin that would make Magneto proud.
So begins Alix Austin and Keir Siewert’s Kill Your Lover, a film that is absolutely devoid of any real substance. At its best, it’s a movie that seems to want to be about the chokehold of toxic relationships and how they so often ensnare us even though we know we’d be so much better off on our own. At its worst, it’s a poorly executed pseudo-horror that feels more like something a couple of teenagers threw together one weekend. The plot is flimsy—punk chick Dakota is now a square because her shitty boyfriend demanded that she change, and she’s kind of not really sure if she’s happy about that—the acting is subpar and the visuals and special effects look like they were done by a group of elementary school kids who recently got their hands on a fresh pack of Snazaroo face paint pens and just went to town.
The best horror films are the ones that explore complex topics through the lens of terror. Hereditary focuses on grief and the long-term effects of dysfunctional family relationships; the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre dives deep into the complicated politics of the ‘70s; and Ginger Snaps gracefully depicts the agonies of teenage girlhood in a way that will leave you bereft with emotions. Kill Your Lover, on the other hand, just leaves you wishing for those 77 minutes of your life back. At times, the film seems like maybe it wants to dive deeper into its message (maybe?!), but instead, it chooses to spend nearly 10 agonizingly long minutes on a sex scene montage that isn’t even the slightest bit sexy. The acting is amateurish, and most of the time you feel like you’re looking at the cover of Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life over and over and over again wondering, “Is this person in the throes of a good cry or are they just having an orgasm?” It’s impossible to tell, which, honestly, is kind of a major turn off.
The fact of the matter is that with Kill Your Lover, the filmmakers demonstrate no ability to take a rudimentary concept and turn it into something worth thinking about. Toxic relationships are a real thing. Emotional abuse is a real thing. It seems like Austin and Siewert want to explore the complexities of these situations by depicting the couple in an actual physical battle with one another that is supposed to represent the difficulties with letting go of a relationship even if you know it’s wrong. The only problem is that physical abuse is also a real thing, so to show Axel and Dakota genuinely coming to blows with one another—albeit in a very Dark Phoenix vs. Cyclops sort of way—feels almost insulting to anyone who has ever been a victim of domestic violence. Unfortunately, this just means that the film and its message feel as fake as the tattoos plastered all over Dakota’s arms.
Photo courtesy of Dark Sky Films
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