When you think of Black Friday, you think of riotous crowds. Wide-eyed consumers dashing through big box stores to grab severely discounted 65” flat-screens off pallets is the behavior expected from people on this popular day-after-Thanksgiving quasi-holiday. Traffic jams build up on highway exit ramps to local outlet malls, and throngs of people drag themselves out of bed in the early morning just to go stand and wait outside of their favorite stores in the hopes of getting through the doors—and to the deals—before anybody else. The fact that many people spent the previous day being grateful for the love of their family and friends is completely irrelevant. Americans only want one thing now: to consume.
Black Friday Mania has been documented in various films over the years, but the most famous representation is perhaps Brian Levant’s Schwarzenegger-staring Jingle All the Way in which the former California governor attempts to acquire the highly-sought-after Turbo-Man toy for his young son in time for Christmas. The hysteria surrounding this particular action figure was no doubt meant to mimic a much more real-life craze that started over a decade prior to the film’s release: Cabbage Patch Kids (CPK). Whether you love them or find their pudgy baby faces to be ugly, these dolls took America’s world—and wallets— by storm, ushering in an era of frantic consumerism that has never really gone away.
Andrew Jenks’ latest documentary Billion Dollar Babies: The True Story of the Cabbage Patch Kids dives deep into the complex whirlwind of Cabbage Patch mania, tracing the toys from their unexpected origins to the height of their popularity. The result is a fascinating look at a particular cultural moment that went on to have a significant impact on the way marketing companies utilize scarcity to increase sales. Xavier Roberts, the so-called “inventor” of the Cabbage Patch Kids, is interviewed in the documentary for the first time in almost 20 years. Alongside this infamous toy giant, members of CPK’s initial producer, Coleco (yes, as in the company responsible for the popular video game console ColecoVision), are interviewed as well for a comprehensive look at the kids — because they are never to be referred to as “dolls”—and their creators.
The quirky thing about Cabbage Patch Kids is that they aren’t just another children’s toy. They were designed to provide people with an imaginative experience that brought together real life and fantasy. Each kid is said to have been born in a cabbage patch (the documentary includes a disturbing scene in which a “mama cabbage” dilates and gives birth to a kid at the famous Babyland General Hospital, but more on that in a second) and is able to be “adopted” by anyone who is willing to love and care for them. Roberts originally started the company under the name “Little People,” and created one-of-a-kind toys that he claims combine the techniques of quilting with sculpture. He sold the dolls at his unique Babyland where visitors could tour a life-like hospital setting in which dolls came to be cured of any ailments that might afflict them. If this sounds insane, the actual footage of Babyland will not make it seem any less so. Dozens of workers dressed in scrubs and white coats busily “care” for the dolls who lie atop gurneys and receive actual IVs of medicinal “TLC.” A literal cabbage patch exists within the compound where, still to this day, a nurse helps to deliver the soft sculptures to a live audience. It is an absolutely surreal exposé, but this kitschy absurdity is part of what makes the CPK engine run.
But another piece of this cabbage-y puzzle lies in Roberts, himself. Even now, the man appears larger than life in his trademark cowboy hat and goatee. Jenks presents him as an artist with a desire to make big money, and if the semi-disturbing photograph of half-naked Roberts submerged in the bath while surrounded by various Cabbage Patch Kids is any indication, he is also kind of a creep, too. This is made even more apparent by the fact that Roberts signs the “tushies” of each of his kids with his own signature—a feature that is still mass-produced on the toys to this day. Roberts claims to sign them here because he thought the butt would be a cute place for his name to go, and he is, after all, an artist who likes to sign his own work. But if this sounds like a weird, Pygmalion-esque infatuation with his creations, that’s because it kind of is.
Which brings us to the most scandalous part of the Cabbage Patch Kids story. While America’s obsession with the dolls and people’s frantic desires to get their hands on one is fascinating—the scene in which a store manager fends off crazed shoppers with a baseball bat all while chucking CPK boxes into the surging crowd of people will forever be burned into your memory—the juiciest part of the toy’s history is that Roberts didn’t come up with the idea on his own. In fact, the concept of the Cabbage Patch Kids was stolen from Martha Nelson Thomas.
Thomas was a folk artist who met Roberts at a craft fair and began supplying him with her handmade dolls (which she called “Doll Babies”) to sell at his personal shop. But once Thomas became suspicious of Roberts’ motives, she cut ties with the toy tycoon and thought that would be the end of their relationship. However, seeing an opportunity to capitalize on a good idea, Roberts stole Thomas’ Doll Baby design, added some cabbages, and the rest is history. Jenks’ documentary takes care to give Roberts a platform to address the allegations of his plagiarism, but Roberts and his supporters are not quick to admit to their crimes. Thomas did file a lawsuit against Roberts and Coleco, but her settlement paled in comparison to the millions of dollars made by Roberts and his team. Instead, she lived out the rest of her life selling make-your-own Doll Baby kits and helping people in need.
Thomas’ story brings to mind that of Lizzie Magie, the woman responsible for creating the original idea behind Monopoly that then got stolen by Charles Darrow. Billion Dollar Babies, then, not only seeks to highlight the cultural impact of this popular phenomenon, but also set the record straight on who really should be getting all the credit. Even Roberts himself, in a cringe-worthy moment, says, “[Thomas] was incredible, and without her, I might never have created Cabbage Patch Kids.” But before you scream at your screens with a whole-hearted, “DUH!” remember that she wouldn’t be the first woman to have her idea stolen by a man for capital gain. And if Roberts is cheeky enough to sign the butts of his own children’s toys, then his eventual conquering of the Doll Babies brand should really come as no surprise. Billion Dollar Babies is a thrilling deep-dive into the Cabbage Patch Kids phenomenon that does double duty by highlighting the economic impact of the toys while also setting the record straight, making it a documentary that’s ripe for the picking.
Photo courtesy of Abramorama
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